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Road Trip with a Side of a Patty Melt.

4 Aug

For our 7 year anniversary, (this past June, yeah I procrastinate!) James had planned a travel down the Oregon coast, something I’ve been telling him he has to see for years now, for a 3 night camping trip. We dusted off our gear, (it had been way to long since the last time we camped,) planned and prepared the menu and loaded up the truck and dogs. We left early as the campsite was a 6 1/2 hour drive, and a beautiful day and drive it was.

Then, this happened. What should be a Yelp review (but won’t) is coming your way. It took about an hour longer than we’d planned when we stopped for a quick bite and beer at a dog friendly restaurant in Newport, OR. Found it on the BringFido app and it was at a Rouge Brewing Co. restaurant, and, being a well established name it had to be good, right? Wrong!!

We lucked out and found a parking spot right next to the patio, where I presume we’ll be sitting with the pups, πŸ‘πŸ»we were told to seat ourselves with a heads up that the food might take around 30 mins. That’s cool, I appreciate the knowing what I’m getting myself into. Unfamiliar with the area, and again, a well known name, we accepted it. Then 5 mins passed, 10, maybe 15 until we actually were greeted by our server. And as a person well versed of the industry myself I know how customers can TOTALLY over exaggerate a time frame. I assure you I am not. Now, “why didn’t you just leave?” you may be thinking. It’s a 3 fold response. 1, dogs. 2, wanting our truck, full of monies worth of camping gear and foods within eyesight βœ”οΈ. 3, small town, small roads, big truck (see reason #2). So we wait, every few mins saying, “Let’s just wait another minute and we’ll leave.” Alas, there she is!! She was apologetic so that’s cool, even though I’d seen her at the table across from us, twice, we are fully ready with our order (hoping it would expedite our departure as we still have almost 3 hours of driving,) and then proceeded to wait for our beers. We are now maybe 30+mins in. Me trying to make small talk when drinks finally come, “Wow you guys are pretty busy!” Her response, “Not Really” Really! Over 30 mins for a beer. Not Really!!?? Then another 30 mins pass, still no food. We’re sharing a fucking patty melt people! So, we order another round. When that round finally comes she says, “I have some interesting news and some good news. Which do you want first?” Interesting, bc well, I’m interested to hear any form of explanation. Turns out Mike took our sandwich to the wrong table and they’d already started eating it so, they’re making another for us right now, and she told them to, “put a rush on it“. The good news is, this round was on her. Sweet πŸΊπŸ–•πŸ»! So that rush put on our food was just that. Use your own imagination on how good it was. Thus folks, this took an hour and 45 mins!!!!! I’ll be skipping on Rogue Brewing from now on.

Oh! Damnit! I almost skipped the best part. There was a solo bathroom for both men and women, BUT, there was no way to lock the door, that I could see in the women’s so I went to the men’s. Huh? Same mother fucking thing! So I ask an employee who’s right there, “How do I lock the bathroom door?” I shit you not his response is, “That’s a good question, I don’t really know?” Followed by, “I’m not sure if you can.” If I can?!! How do you not know the answer? How has this never come up before? And is that even legal?!!!

Now that my rant is done and I hope you’re still reading, (sorry but it really was an experience that I felt I had to share, I mean, yeah,) we’re back on the road. The park. Sunset Bay.  Was beautiful! And the best part, no cell service. Nothing, nada, zilch, the whole time! I recommend taking yourselves somewhere similar, often. There was however, one way to make contact with the outside world, just in case. How many of you or people you know have never seen or used one of these!!!?? I picked it up just to hear the dial tone. (Also possibly something you or someone you know has no idea what that means or sounds like.)

Well, on the drive in, close to the park we passed a little corner store and there was a wheel barrow full of wood and a sign, “for sale.” Yeah, I made him turn around, those bundles they sell at the sites always burn faster as they rarely have any substantial sized logs. 20 bucks for the barrel, and nice cuts of logs. πŸ‘πŸ» Not positive the species but I know for damn sure that what we were burning here compared to camping in SD was in so many ways better! In SD the smoke was well, smokier, and when we’d get home it was straight up, everything in the garage-dogs get hosed down-strip naked-and get in the shower, smokier!! But this wood, none of that. Yeah there was still campfire smell but it was a happier kind. And when unloading our gear, dogs and own smelly beings at home, not that bad. Here our washer and dryer are in the house, in SD they were in the garage, so yeah, wood up here, unsurprisingly, trumps. No, wait, that’s not the right word. Maybe use, superior? Yep! That’s the one. Thanks to our unexpected “layover” we didn’t get settled in as early as we wanted, but we did. So by the time we’re ready to get that campfire going we’re teetering towards 8o’clock. Our little camping guidelines pamphlet we get says nothing about when fires must be out. Quiet time is at 10 but fires? When? So James goes to the host to inquire, and her answer is, none. “We can have a fire all night?”

“Yes, as long as you are quite and don’t disturb other campers.”

WHATTT??? Nice. πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ”₯So we got lost in the flames and embers on a beautiful quiet night. Tomorrow. We walk! We were told there’s this amazing botanical garden at Shore Acres park, just a short hike away. Fuck yeah!! So we head off. Apparently in the wrong direction as we see no signs, and end up kicked off to the road. So we turn around and head back to camp to find our pathway out. When asking the first ranger we see where the path is her response is basically “yeah, the new camp host sn’t a fan of signs. I don’t know why.” Umm, I’m sorry, but how can you be a campground host and not be a fan of letting campers know where they’re going. In the wilderness. Where they haven’t been before? I mean, at least give us an arrow! βž°πŸ”œ But, we make our way and find the path, we did walk by the same outlook twice along the way, can’t possibly imagine how that happened, but the views were worth it!! Told you so James. 

We did find that botanical garden and of course they don’t allow dogs, understand why but, Damnit! So we had to take turns to walk through it. Which of course means, while walking through the most amazing rose garden I’ve ever seen, stopping to smell the roses loses a bit of it’s charm when the husband/dog hand-off is waiting for me. But smell I did. Totally worth it.As you know we bought a rehab property, which comes with all kinds of surprises. And whatever trees, shrubs and or plants that came with it were also part of that surprise, so we had no idea what they would look like come spring. Well there is a small rose bush in our front yard that, it seemed out of nowhere, produced this beautiful rose. I’d never seem one like this before and I beamed when I saw it out my bedroom window! Tada, this is it. It’s named Scentimental. And now when I stop and smell my roses, I know her name. It was a beautiful and peaceful few days. 
Fun’s over guys! We have a yard to get together.

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PORT.A WHAT????

12 Jul

Weeks ago, hahahah! Nope. Back in late May James was all excited about a present he had bought for me that was coming in the mail. It’s a surprise! He says. So of course I’m intrigued. Can anyone guess what it was? No! Every thought is wrong! Wrong! It was a port a potty! You heard me. Port.A.Potty. Now I’ll explain. Our bathroom is next up on the to-do list and needs an upgrade on a serious level. Tile, vanity and medicine cabinet, and with doing that ourselves it could possibly take more than a week. So, there’s that toilet issue, it did not need to be replaced but, just plain old had to be removed for proper laying of the tile, hence, needing a place to do our business! And then a series of events happened. 

First, I’m a procrastinator, (that has been established time and time again,) and secondly, family and friend and life shit happened. So it was put on hold. 

Then a rainbow arose 🌈 and a pot of gold landed in our backyard. Well, a couple miles away but. Dude. Some great friends of ours over the last 7 years moved up here, purely coincidental, and well sometimes, one needs a great coincidence to poop out in their backyard. (Is it just me or does this post seem to be leaning too much towards poo? πŸ€”) And don’t ever dismiss it. One of these friends happens to be someone who knows a little about everything and a lot about some things. So our project that may have taken us a week plus some days, took these two boys 3 days. And those three days, they did while I was away.  

When men take a before and after. Yeah. Cannot trust them!!  Close the lid babe. But, thank you. 

I came home to a new bathroom. While I didn’t do any actual labor, I was instrumental to this remodel. I picked out everything and damnit not surprised, totally nailed it!! Looks amazing! And while I got away with the days worth of no working toilet, there is still one last task, (besides more mother-fucking painting!) seal the tile, and that takes the better part of a day. So. I cannot get away without gracing that port a potty with this cute little bum. Hello garage. You seriously need to pick up after yourself! 

A Salon Near You. Don’t Go Here

14 Mar

Another aspect of relocating that we women have to take into account, ok, some men I’m sure as well but I can’t speak for you. Beauty. I was with both my stylist and esthetician for most of my tenure in San Diego, so finding replacements, well, not that easy and oh so bittersweet. I’ve had 2 cuts since moving away, the first at a salon nearby the RV park we resided for a bit back in December, it was horrible, (the haircut not the park,) and after loathing my hair for months, I finally caved. To be honest I only let it last that long because most days Its comfy clothes or work clothes that are going to get dirty, so I let it slide, but a girl can only take so much. I was set to find someone near me that could get the job done. It’d be one thing if I could just put my hair in a ponytail and let it be. But damn it all to hell!! I can’t. Short hair. And there’s only so much a headband and hair clips can do with a bad cut. After much web searching and review reading I found one that stated, “I have short, fine hair and (I’ll call him Carl) gave me the best haircut in 15 years.”

Yay! That’s me! That’s what I need!! They also do waxing in the same salon, double yay (these brows are out of control!) Ok, let’s do this! Off to find me my replacement crew! 🀞🏻

Let’s start with the brow wax. There was no table or chair, or lamp over my brows for that matter, I sat in the shampoo sink. The wax was on the other side of a the wall so she’d go back and forth, and when she thought she was done and wanted me to look at my brows, I had to get up and walk to the other side of the wall to look in the mirror!!??? And when I pointed out she hadn’t even touched the brow canal that must always be clear, back the shampoo chair we go. No, just no.

Onward to the cut. πŸ˜” Here comes “Carl”! Who is also the owner of the salon, and he comes a roaring! I tell him I left my last stylist of over 8 years and his response is something along the lines of “Well, not to toot my own horn but, I’ve had clients for almost 40 years so it shouldn’t be a problem.” Bullet points of what I’d learned about him in those 45 mins; age, number of marriages/kids, marijuana stance, wife’s profession, also that she’s hot, I know how many pets/animals he has, DIY tips and how he feels about the homeless…. the list goes on, seriously, bc he didn’t stop talking the whole time!!! He did make an attemp and asked a few questions, I didn’t however get a chance to complete an answer bc he’d start with something else, which I didn’t really mind after the third or fourth attempt, hoping talking altogether would take a time out. I did come up in the conversation once or twice, about how lucky I was to have him cutting my hair. He was going to fix everything. (Yay!) Time to time he’d pause, lean on my chair, and talk about a thought that must’ve popped up in his head, looking at himself, in the mirror!!! And i will never understand why he lifted my chair up and down so damn much, with no use of shears most of the time!! At the end he stated that he was “My hero of the day,” and we can “Build on any criticism or issues we can change on my haircut the next visit.” Dude!! I’m here, in your chair, right now! Let’s start there!! He combed my hair so hard and flat to my head for the 40 mins or so that my forehead was sore for hours after I left!!!! 

I associate someone who refers to themselves as “Great”, or says such as, “Not to brag but,” to those that state, “I’m a great tipper.” It’s a warning sign. For all of us that know better in the industry, a “great tipper” is 10%-15%. Not the 20%-25% that great service actually deserves. At that point however, you can’t just say to that table “Get out,” or, in this instance, get up out of the chair and walk out. (Well maybe you could but I am not that callus.) 😫 Aaarrrgggghhhhhhh! How do I find someone that suits me, hell, I’ll settle for someone that won’t assault my scalp, without knowing a single person in the city for a referral? 

The search continues. 

Trails and Tribulations of DIY

6 Mar

I’m going to rewind a few weeks and then circle back around to now. 
Our first major task of this home was to lay new floors in the two bedrooms. (There’s a link below to that adventure if you’d like something to numb your brain other than another Trump tweet story.) Prepping meant tearing out the closet doors and tracks. We also had a beautiful πŸ˜‰set of bifold doors in the dining room that was used to separate it from the closet area that housed the water heater, washer and dryer and, yeah, those had to go too. So we loaded up the truck and drove all 3 sets for donation to Habitat For Humanity, and, much to our surprise, they turned them down. Said they weren’t accepting any closet doors. Umm, its a donation dudes! Ok, cool, that was a waste of a trip. Back home they go to chill along side the house, covered with a tarp until our, inevitable, next run to the dump. 

Now the fast forward ⏩

Storage is a much needed addition inside this house. The closets are small and shelving is a must. It’s really hard to unpack boxes (I’ve had to reiterate to James) when there’s no where to unpack them to. This is of course, my territory. We added a shelf to the bottom of both closets, essentially making it 2 shelves,  I guess 3 if you count the floor. And I do and will utilize it as such. Regardless of numbers this produced an instant, needed change and I’m a fan of making the most of the space given. Now comes the walls in the rooms and how to utilize their space in the best possible way, again, my territory. I’ve always wanted corner shelves, and for whatever reason, it’s so hard to find reasonably sized and priced ones. I mean really! Almost every corner in a house is easily wasted space! At this point I am adamant about finding one. Google, Google, click, click. I’m unimpressed. DIY Google, Google, click, click. Ding! James, this could work. 

https://www.lowes.com/creative-ideas/woodworking-and-crafts/corner-shelves/project,

He’s instantly on board. Check the list of materials and search to make sure we can buy them at our local Lowe’s and well, the door size in this tutorial is no longer available in stock, yes they can be a special order, but by then no money is saved, only spent. πŸ’‘James’ thought, “Let me measure those bifold doors we have outside.” Check!! It’s a match! So thank you Habitat for turning our doors away, (imaginary tip of the hat 🎩,) we are instead up-cycling. Our material list has shrunk.Several coats of paint and days later, (everything takes longer to dry out up here, everything!) its time to assemble.  Now to measure off and cut the triangles. In the tutorial it calls for 1 inch blue painters tape, well we have about 3-4 rolls of blue tape all around here and not a one is 1 inch, so we used masking tape, because we have it. Of course its pretty much the same damn color of the painted wood we’re cutting. There is a reason for the blue my friends! James cuts the first and I’m up next. Ummm, slight differential between the color lines aside, my jigsaw skills are dismal. Now kids, safety first. When working with power tools, protective eyewear is a must. I mean, it’s stated in every single handbook and on every supplies list on every project. So here I am, cutting my lines. The first one was ok, like, James went in and shaved off a bit for me, ok πŸ™‚ Then I’m coming in on my second, and well damnit if the sawdust didn’t suddenly amplify. . Eyes full of sawdust are now rinsed out and irritated, I am done cutting. I can clearly use some practice, but for this project, it’s on you babe. You can guess who’s is who’s πŸ˜”I mean, my lines painting, ace! Cutting, needs work. Next step. Build. We have our 4 shelves and our 2 doors. Need to attach the dowel on the one door to screw the other into. We glue the dowel on, drill the pilot holes and proceed to drill in the wood screws. First one, breaks off. WTF? Second one, breaks. Third, yep. Seriously!! Ok. We’d changed drill bits, drills, speeds. Finally figure out, wood screws cant handle the hammer drill. Trial and error doesn’t skip this project. Time to bring out the grinder!!You may have everything on the “supplies needed” list, but there is ALWAYS something else. After years and oh so many projects, its nice to have tools to sometimes pick up that slack or ‘oops’ that is bound to happen. And that bounty adds up after every ‘oops’ you’ve made before. We’ve fixed our current oops and its time to move on. I start drilling new pilot holes, and dagnamnit! I break off the drill bit. Aahh! That bounty we’ve built up has yet again come in handy as we had another drill bit the same size and thank you my Sanity Saint! If James would’ve had to go to the depot there’s a good chance Id’ve broke down in tears. I’m my own worst enemy and quick to blame myself. Sigh of relief. Game back on! Get the right drill setting and screw the doors together as intended. Shelving time. Measure distance. Level and screw. Minimal mishaps, only on the first bottom shelves (the ones I cut) so it’s ok, nothing a little caulk or paint won’t fix. By the end I’d happily (oh hell I did) pat myself on the back with how quick and comfortable I was with the power drill. Repetitive teaching, works for children and me alike. Alas, shelf. 1 of 2 is complete. And by golly this one is fucking awesome by my standards! 

Click on these links to read about aforementioned shitty floor installation and an abundance of painting. 
Home owners or aspirers welcome.

Settling In

https://wordpress.com/post/itzalllogical.wordpress.com/319

Forks And Ladders

https://wordpress.com/post/itzalllogical.wordpress.com/336

Settling In

7 Feb

We unloaded the trailer with the remainder of our belongings, all 4 fur babies included, on January 19 and this house, our new home, is slowly becoming just that. These first few weeks have been a fuckery of hurdles! We are still sleeping/living/eating/sitting, all cozy and together, in the living room, trying to keep the back two rooms as empty as possible for their complete makeovers. Here’s a before picture to prove their worthiness of of said makeover. 


All those delicious looking water stains, well, we assumed dogs lacking frequent trips outside to relieve themselves, and dogs were a good assumption as there were many remnants of tennis balls in the fenced in backyard, it just made sense. Luckily for us the previous tenants removed the assumably prestigious looking carpet and as this is a no carpet household they just saved us a step. During the inspection Mr. Inspector simply states, “Looks like this was used as a grow house,” with little to no shock or surprise. Turns out that the water stains were just that. Overwater much our little amateur friends? Getting the ball rolling is the hardest part, just ask any aspiring gym-goer in January. For me, right now, it’s paint. I want color. Color that flows and compliments throughout so I sit, and I stare at the walls for minutes on end trying to envision something, (with what seems like every possible paint swatch The Home Depot had at my disposal) anything to cover up this disgusting sea green blotched bleh and these beat down white walls. I’m finding it more difficult than our last house because here the walls transcend over and into the kitchen, two long walls spanning the length from front door to back. Ahhhh!!

So, I regroup and pick our new laminate flooring first, to compliment the kitchen tile that is already in place, and then proceed to find paint(s) to flow throughout the house. Let’s work from the bottom up so at least now I have a focal point. Find the flooring, find the paint. I finally settled on colors, plural! And by that I mean the lady in the paint department made a WOW comment to James when he gave her my list, and now, finally, we can get started on those back 2 rooms. A nice thing about these 2 rooms, with their wonderfully exposed floors, no stress about paint dripping or covering of furniture needed. Stay messy my friends. πŸ˜‰ Day 1, room number 1, (our bedroom of course) heads under way. After a bit of work I hear, “Have you seen Lily?” Well, guess who managed to find a loose board in the backyard? Yep, with her shepherd nose and curious mind she just walked on out. Luckily she was standing on the other side, (I speak Lily so I know what she thought was,) “Oh shit, I’m not supposed to be here! I’ll just wait.” It has now been decided that the fence will take precedence and steal James away from me starting tomorrow. Commence painting for today and all 4 walls, ceiling and closet get their first coat so we call it just before dinner. 

The next morning I get a call with some family matters and need to leave town for a few days and, well, James has a fence to mend/build so painting gets put on the back burner. Those 4 days I was gone James was building the fence. He planned on just rebuilding the sections that needed it but the weather was great and I was gone so he did a little more. And then when he thought he was done, a rotted post! Argh! Fuck it, just finish the damn fence, and damn it he did. This last week since he’s finished the fence have all been less than favorable outside weather so, I’ll say it, thank you Lily for showing us the faults in our borders at the right time. I may speak her language but she doesn’t speak mine so she’ll never know she did right by leaving the premises. πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ• Paint on! Well, we did it! One room down, rest of the house to go! A complete remodel is chock full of tiny victories, innumerable amounts of high fives, setbacks and many, oh so many, trips to the (in our case) Home Depot. I’m pretty sure we will all be close friends by the end of this venture, or at least them and our dogs.

 Piece by piece. Box by box. Wall by wall. And when you look at the piece, open the box and see the wall. Fuck. More. Seems never ending. And that is something I’d like to keep up.
Tonight, we sleep in this bedroom, finally. 

Shit me no more.Β 

22 Jan

No more shit from other peoples dogs!
We’ve packed up the trailer and the animals on our final descent to our new home!! Needless to say, the kiddies are unimpressed with the journey in their fun little carriers on this lovely truck ride out of the RV park. It’s like a cat song of torture in here πŸ‘πŸ». (maybe have animals out of ear shot of the video) 

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The dogs are upgrading to their very own back yard and will have access to it, uninterrupted as they deem necessary. No waiting on us to take them. No hoping the dog park is vacant for them, and the very bestest part of it all, no more of other people’s dogs’ shit!!! πŸ’©πŸ˜‘ Yes, that’s right, done with the keeping the park clean for our dogs to enjoy. 

Mic (in this case Poop Bag) Drop! 

The first (of oh so many) overnight.

22 Jan

We finally did it!! We are officially pulling away from our little trailer, our home for the past 3 months. Spending the last few weeks getting us to move-in ready we’ve had a, I’m pretty sure, regular amount of speed bumps. There was a back and forth until we got the heating unit functioning, it just so turns out it needed to blow some cold air out its ass, (yay for not having to spend money on new parts, and labor!!) and in the meantime there was a separate but equally fun back and forth with the City to finally get the water turned on, heat pending. FINALLY. Water and heat βœ”οΈ. Lastly, the POD that contains the remainder of our belongings is set to be delivered and we can officially make it our home!! All of us and everything. 🏑 Before we left San Diego there was this tiny issue of the key breaking off in the lock and we said “Fuck it for now.” Well now is that time to give that fuck. Alas! 2 hours and $200 later we got in that damn thing and it’s time to unload!!!


My favorite part of Delivering Our Belongings Day was meeting some amazing new people. A dear friend of ours back in SD has family here nearby-ish that we had been on a back and forth with for months trying to get together and, well, the best excuse/make it happen reason is moving day. So these people we’ve never met, and have had a mere texting relationship with, drove about an hour to meet and help us unpack our shit. The introduction was a hug, like we’ve already met, kind of thing. Nothing was forced or awkward. After about an hour or so of, shooting-the-shit-get-to-know-you, face to face we unloaded the POD went to dinner and, it was simply a great day. 

We are home.